The not so pretty truth

Years ago I had this lesson. I was told knowledge equals responsibility. You don’t need to act on knowledge, but at the point of receiving it you now have a choice. You can no longer plead ignorance.

A few prevalent example are counselors or clergy. I can confess things that have happened, and they are not allowed to use those words against me. There is a special exception. If I have plans to hurt myself or hurt someone else they must tell someone. If they are told by a child about abuse they are mandated to report it.

Their knowledge of others intent or harm makes them responsible.

There are other examples like red lights. If I know the light is red and that means stop, I am responsible for whatever action I take in my car from that point forward.

One of the problems I have discovered is truth depends on perspective. The truth I had when I was 16 is wildly different then I have as an adult.

When I was young I would rage, scream and cry. I did horrible in school. I didn’t understand why I was so different.

When I learned about the symptoms of borderline personality and PTSD, I became responsible for my actions. I had to make the choice am I going to ignore it or am I going to face it?

When I didn’t know that I had this, I made very bad choices. My actions were not pretty or appropriate. While I’m not trying to justify my behavior, I recognize the reason I do them.

When the light was turned on I realized this war in my head had only one player. I was wild and thoughtless. I didn’t understand my issues, I only understood that I was angry and afraid.

When I realize I am in a fearful situation, and acknowledge my fear is creating problems, I now am responsible for my actions.

If I do what I used to do and I yell and obsess… The consequences that happen are my fault. I’m responsible for hurting you or myself. I am the cause of damage created.

So this is where my responsibility comes in. When I realize the struggle it’s time for me to use my tools. Sometimes I picked the wrong tool, sometimes I drop the tool, and sometimes the tool works perfectly… But I am responsible to use my tools or allow a spiral.

This is where I tell the BPD peeps, “you are responsible.” You now know the struggle. You have been told you have a choice. You can try to use your tools or not.

This is where I tell the BPD peeps supporters, “you are responsible.” You now know the struggle. You have been told you have a choice.

Leave the situation if it’s dangerous. Take a deep breath when it’s annoying. Encourage us to use our tools. Be patient when we are sincerely trying. Tell someone if we intend to hurt ourselves or others.

Knowledge equals responsibility. What will you do with yours?