The not so pretty truth

Today’s Ugly Truth: I am obsessed.

This one is a little scary. Not for me, but probably for you.

This morning I read THIS article.

What? Really? Now I have to add stocker to my borderline symptoms?

I hate this, but the truth is in several past relationships this has been the case. I do everything I can for you. When there’s any questionable behavior I see it as possible rejection. I will be consumed by fixing the problem.

After you are thoroughly burned-out and leave… My perceived rejection goes on hyperdrive. I need to know why. I will obsess that I am perfect for you.

I need to know I’ve done everything to try to get you back, to the point it gets a little stockery. I say little, because I’ll never boil your bunny, but I will go crazy.

The good news is now I recognize it.

The bad news is it is too late to fix it… I know if I try, it will come across as more manipulation and stockeryness.

If you ever see me do it, I give you permission to call me on it. Please give me boundaries. Tell me you’re doing it out of love but tell me if I’m scaring the crap out of you.

If this has ever been you, I am sorry. Like I said in yesterday’s blog, I’m not justifying my behavior. I’m saying I now recognize it.

Here is that article again. If you are a bpd person or being obsessed by one this may hurt a little…

The ‘Obsessive’ Way I Fall in Love as Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder