The not so pretty truth

A few weeks ago I said something not nice about myself – out loud – to a person I don’t know well.

They said you’re never allowed to say that again.

I rolled my eyes…

Then they offered some advice. Put a photo of yourself as a child on your phone home screen. Whenever you’re tempted to speak like that about yourself, look at that photo.

Is she what you just described?  Are you going to tell that little girl, that she is stupid? That she is ugly? That she has no reason of living?

No! Of course not… But she is not who I am now… Now as an adult, I am all of those things.

Why?

Because, as that little girl, I learned to believe those things…

That little girl never chose to be a bullied. That little girl never chose to be hurt. That little girl never thought I’m going to grow up to have nightmares of the abuse I experienced.

But she did. She grew up afraid. She grew up hiding.

It is time for you to start being that little girl’s hero. Be the grown up she wished she had in her life. Teach her how strong women look, how they speak to themselves, who they are.

My heart hurt. I put a picture of myself on my phone. I hated looking at that little girl.

She is so lost.

She doesn’t understand why the world is so hard.

She needs to be loved. She needs to be comforted. She needs to know she did well. She needs to know those words that other people are using about her are not true.

I did it.

I realized it’s time for me to start standing up for that little girl. Because that little girl is still me.