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It Happened Again
It happened… Seemingly out of nowhere… The fear. The panic. The uncontrollable crying. The shaking. The wanting to curl up in a ball and hide. I hate this word. I hate the concitation of it. I hate how it’s improperly used. I hate that I have to use it. TRIGGERED I understand why this word…
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Little Girl Erica
A few weeks ago I said something not nice about myself – out loud – to a person I don’t know well. They said you’re never allowed to say that again. I rolled my eyes… Then they offered some advice. Put a photo of yourself as a child on your phone home screen. Whenever you’re…
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To all the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and One Amazing Lady
I am currently in trauma therapy. The last several weeks have been heavy and very emotionally draining. Because of this I’ve decided to take a dating hiatus. In my life I have learned to assume that men only want one thing. While I have made choices that helped solidify this… I have experienced a large…
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Rejection Sensitivity
Today’s Ugly Truth is brought to you by Rejection Sensitivity… when your feelings are hurt because somebody looked at you funny. If I could teach you anything about Borderline Personality it’s this fact: Borderline folks have an extreme sensitivity to rejection. This is actual or perceived rejection. This is when your friend doesn’t call back.…
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Please STOP
I have written about this skill before, but I need it tonight. STOP It is really “simple” skill… but I dont want to use it… It feels uncomfortable and wrong. It feels like I am giving in… But what I am giving in is exactly where I need to be. S: Stop… Physically stop. Put…
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Just Another Manic Monday?
One of the hardest parts of dealing with mental health issues, is dealing with the aftermath of an episode. Episodes can last a few hours or weeks. During these episodes the brain can get manic (a moment of mental/emotional extreme – high or low). Manic can be really ugly… Some folks go on an extreme…
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Exhausted
As I’ve discussed multiple times now I am learning more and more how it’s not about me. My friend seems to have life going on all the time. She is fighting with this person, or falling in love with that person, or experiencing big life events. She is amazing and lives a big life. She…
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Excuse me… you are stepping on my ego
One thing I have learned about people with borderline personality disorder is that they are very self focused. I’ve written it in previous blogs, how I don’t recognize other people’s reactions. These reactions are outside of me. They can be completely unrelated to me. They have nothing to do with me. Yet somehow I make…
The not so pretty truth 