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He is not coming back and other ugly truths I have to Radically Accept
Radical acceptance is when you stop fighting reality, stop responding with impulsive or destructive behaviors when things aren’t going the way you want them to, and let go of bitterness that may be keeping you trapped in a cycle of suffering. This week my big assignment has been re-read and go through radical acceptance. I don’t…
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Rejection Sensitivity
Today’s Ugly Truth is brought to you by Rejection Sensitivity… when your feelings are hurt because somebody looked at you funny. If I could teach you anything about Borderline Personality it’s this fact: Borderline folks have an extreme sensitivity to rejection. This is actual or perceived rejection. This is when your friend doesn’t call back.…
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Please STOP
I have written about this skill before, but I need it tonight. STOP It is really “simple” skill… but I dont want to use it… It feels uncomfortable and wrong. It feels like I am giving in… But what I am giving in is exactly where I need to be. S: Stop… Physically stop. Put…
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Just Another Manic Monday?
One of the hardest parts of dealing with mental health issues, is dealing with the aftermath of an episode. Episodes can last a few hours or weeks. During these episodes the brain can get manic (a moment of mental/emotional extreme – high or low). Manic can be really ugly… Some folks go on an extreme…
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Exhausted
As I’ve discussed multiple times now I am learning more and more how it’s not about me. My friend seems to have life going on all the time. She is fighting with this person, or falling in love with that person, or experiencing big life events. She is amazing and lives a big life. She…
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Excuse me… you are stepping on my ego
One thing I have learned about people with borderline personality disorder is that they are very self focused. I’ve written it in previous blogs, how I don’t recognize other people’s reactions. These reactions are outside of me. They can be completely unrelated to me. They have nothing to do with me. Yet somehow I make…
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Triggered
This writing involves childhood trauma. The title is triggered and that’s what the conversation is about. I do not want to trigger others… If you are reach out for help. You are not alone. Call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 Triggered is such an ugly word. I hate it. It’s become a dirty word in…
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Grey Dots
When I was growing up I was not the most talented of children… In fact I was awkward. I had dyslexia, big feet and a shy disposition. I would trip a lot, and don’t get me near any sport balls because I had a huge target on my forehead. I would study for hours but…
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Sometimes…
Sometimes I want to burn it all. The hurtful remark from family, the heartbreak of lost love, the unanswered text message… I think horrible thoughts of why I am the way I am… And if I just burned it all down I could walk away with a smoke marked smug face, knowing I never have…
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The Middle
I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to exist. There is this middle where my heart longs to be. It is the place that my actions don’t have consequences. It’s a place where people don’t think about me. It is a place of rest where I can hide. This morning the question of…
The not so pretty truth 