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It Happened Again
It happened… Seemingly out of nowhere… The fear. The panic. The uncontrollable crying. The shaking. The wanting to curl up in a ball and hide. I hate this word. I hate the concitation of it. I hate how it’s improperly used. I hate that I have to use it. TRIGGERED I understand why this word…
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Little Girl Erica
A few weeks ago I said something not nice about myself – out loud – to a person I don’t know well. They said you’re never allowed to say that again. I rolled my eyes… Then they offered some advice. Put a photo of yourself as a child on your phone home screen. Whenever you’re…
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Just Another Manic Monday?
One of the hardest parts of dealing with mental health issues, is dealing with the aftermath of an episode. Episodes can last a few hours or weeks. During these episodes the brain can get manic (a moment of mental/emotional extreme – high or low). Manic can be really ugly… Some folks go on an extreme…
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Sometimes…
Sometimes I want to burn it all. The hurtful remark from family, the heartbreak of lost love, the unanswered text message… I think horrible thoughts of why I am the way I am… And if I just burned it all down I could walk away with a smoke marked smug face, knowing I never have…
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You Are My Obsession
Today’s Ugly Truth: I am obsessed. This one is a little scary. Not for me, but probably for you. This morning I read THIS article. What? Really? Now I have to add stocker to my borderline symptoms? I hate this, but the truth is in several past relationships this has been the case. I do…
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Knowledge = Responsibility
Years ago I had this lesson. I was told knowledge equals responsibility. You don’t need to act on knowledge, but at the point of receiving it you now have a choice. You can no longer plead ignorance. A few prevalent example are counselors or clergy. I can confess things that have happened, and they are…
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STOP
The last few weeks I’ve been reading a lot about borderline personality disorder. Most of the articles talk about how hard we are to deal with, and how we hurt the people we love often. Now that I understand why… how do I fix it? I sincerely have no idea how to proceed. Since the…
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I just got punched… Thank God
First I want to clarify after researching that lifeguards do not punch you. They are trained to swim up from behind and hold you by the neck. I just got punched. Not literally, I was told to not contact someone for 72 hours. In my past I have learned that people abandon you. Everything feels…
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Thank you for your patience
I wrote this in December 2019. I just came across it and felt I should share. I started this blog to communicate who I am and to encourage others that struggle. I hope this post shares both. I am feeling very rational at the moment… Which hasn’t happened in the last few weeks. I struggle with…
The not so pretty truth 